Saturday, November 19, 2011

FREE HUGS!

So very often I get asked what is the thing you miss most from when I was abled bodies (not as gracefully put, but that is the general idea). This question is always one of my favorites because for a second I feel like I have a chance to remind someone to be thankful for the ability they have. And well my answers always seem to be different, because honestly each day there seems to be something I miss more than another. My typical response is usually missing softball, walking up stairs, going to the bathroom. But after the last time I was asked this I took some time to really reflect on what I truly miss most and I think I have finally come up with the answer. That would be hugging, ugh I miss that connection so much. On a horrible day there is nothing like a long embrace from a loved one that melts away all the bad. Sure I can still give hugs and I do as much as possible. But once again it just isn't the same. To be able to fall into someone's arms when I feel like my whole world is crashing down is the prefect remedy to make that moment simple and easy. It is amazing to see how often people hug and all the different occasions. Meeting new people, reuniting with old friends, bad days, exciting days, saying hello, saying goodbye, and just about everything in between is an occasion that requires a hug. Each time these occasions happen I watch people hesitantly go in for a hug with me and of course a hug period is wonderful to me. However generally a hug for me is pretty awkward because people don't know if I am fragile or not sure how to stratal the wheelchair. Just take note in knowing that I love my hugs so don't be shy, just not too rough because I am a little fragile. I don't want to go on and on about this subject just a little food for thought. Another instance where I hope to open the eyes of some to how lucky they are to have what they have. I am one who is extremely happy for what I am blessed with but someday when I am back on my feet everyone better watch out. I will be a hugging machine :)

-also a little side note, it is said that a person needs that type of human contact a hug provides to feel loved and whole. So give someone you love a hug today.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Tinkle time.

Lucky for you guys I am a huge procrastinator and am currently putting off my critical thinking paper because OBVIOUSLY writing this blog is way more important! I have some of the paper done, so don't judge me.

Alright on to today's topic, handicap bathrooms. If you are in my wheelchair you can feel my pain on this subject. One of the most frustrating things I encounter weekly is public handicap bathrooms. I will wheel into the bathroom and all stalls are open except for the only one I can actually fit into.... the handicap stall. Every time this event occurs I was to scream and then catapult myself at the person when the finally walk out. Now I understand there are moments when all stalls are filled and nature is kicking down the door to get out. In that case yes go right ahead and use the handicap stall but please make it snappy. Because you never know when someone who needs the stall is going to come in. The one thing you should never do as an abled bodied person is go into the ONLY handicap stall when every other stall is open. I cannot tell you how many times I have wheeled in right behind someone and they stroll right into the handicap stall with the rest completely open. All of these ladies are lucky I can keep my temper and they didn't meet my fury after being so ignorant. The handicap stalls are not for whoever wants to use them. There is a specific population who truly need them, they are not just a roomy stall because there was extra room. Finally, people stop POOPING in the handicap stall. It seems like every time I get stuck waiting for the handicap stall someone is pooping in it. It is just something about the space that draws people to it for doing their stinky business. It is bad enough I have to wait for you to get out of the only stall I can fit in, now I get to smell your brand?! No thank you, I will pass. This is me begging the able bodied people to stop being so ignorant to the needs of the disabled and be aware of your surroundings. These accommodation are not just for your convenience.

Also those of you who own or hold an important position at a public place, please make sure your bathrooms are actually wheelchair accessible. The guidelines for ADA compliant are changing next year and becoming more stern in reinforcing these guidelines. And generally when I go somewhere that doesn't have an accessible bathroom I can promise I won't be back and I spread the word to other disabled  friends. Because I feel that when someone isn't ADA compliant it is them saying to me they don't want my business and don't care about my needs as a human. Just a little food for thought for you who own public buildings. Okay fine I will go back to my homework now :(

P.S. If anyone has questions they would like me to blog about please email them to me @ stevie.beale21@gmail.com.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Never a Dull Moment

Well it is time for one of the perks of being in a wheelchair. Getting to experience some of the dumbest moments able-bodied people have, putting their foot in their mouth. We start our story on Saturday October 29th (my sister's birthday, irrelevant fact but their will be a test on it later). As most know this was the big party night for Halloween this year. In good young person fashion my boyfriend and I decided to go out in BG for a good night of fun. I am never any good at coming up with a creative costumes, this year I went cheap and did the catholic school girl. Which I used my sister's school uniform for and added my own personal Halloween touch ( made it a little revealing, bad I know but I am a typical girl). Anyways, we get to BG hung out at an apartment for a bit then deicide it is time to hit the bar for the night.

We get to the bar and everything is pretty typical, order my drink and go to our usual pool table. Of course there are a bunch of people there, many that I don't know. So I am getting settled in and a guy comes over to say hello to someone who I was with and he (dressed as a nerd) looks at me, says "What happened to you?!" Getting this ALL the time I replied "Car accident". Simple to the point and generally it stratifies people enough that they will move on. But not this guy he then says, "I have been in loads of car accidents and can still walk." At this point I was pretty shocked that he said that because most people are very afraid of hurting my feelings so they do the opposite and ignore the elephant in the room (elephant being my wheelchair). He drifts away obviously extremely drunk and I think nothing more of it. Later in the night I noticed that there was a girl dressed up as Justin Beiber, knowing that my best friend's little sister has a bad case of Beiber Fever and I love teasing her about it I had to get a picture. I wheeled over to where she was and asked for a picture. They were in the middle of taking some shots, nerd guy included, so I wait for them to finish. Well as I wheeled up they were passing the shots around and nerd guy looks up saying, "WAIT! We need to give the retard in the wheelchair a shot." Now everyone in the group knows me and their faces were filled with horror. I mean it literally looked like every bit of color drained from their faces. Everyone ignores him, me included. Not because I am offended but because I more confused on why he was saying that. Most of my friends and I joke about that but never has a complete strange had the courage to say something like that to me. For good reason too because you never really know how a sentence like that would effect someone. And I will tell you right now if someone had said that to me just a few months post injury I would have been crushed, probably crying for days. Back to the story, the nerd continues to say "give a shot to the retard in the wheelchair a shot." repeating himself about 4 more times. I kept rejecting his shot and everyone else was trying to change the subject till he finally looks at me and says "you aren't really in a wheelchair are you?" A little late to ask that question.... I replied "yes I am, I was in a car accident" He says, "NO WAY!" repeating myself I said "yes I am." This goes back and forth a few more times. Till I finally pull out the big guns and say, "I am in a wheelchair I was in a car accident when I was 17 and my best friend was killed." Finally he got it, I am really in a wheelchair. The poor guy thought it was all a part of my costume. His instance reaction, "I am so SORRY! I didn't think you were in a chair because you are way to pretty, you don't look like someone who would be in a chair." I thanked him for the sort of compliment, listened to about 20 more apologies, then went back to my friends. I was dying laughing and told everyone what happened. Then through out the night he continued to apologize to me and my boyfriend. I kept assuring him I was okay and move on. I was a little happy because I knew it would make a great story and a great blog. haha.

Now I want to make it clear, I am not angry with this guy and really don't want all of you to get angry. I think it is hilarious and very thankful he said to me and not someone else whose feelings he could have hurt. Just another instance where if society wasn't so terrified of the disabled and took the time to learn about us stupidity like this would be avoided.