How Accessible is an Accessible Hotel Room?

Traveling is a wonderful thing and I don't know many people who don't enjoy doing it. However for me traveling can be both exciting and nerve racking at the same time. You never really know how "accessible" a hotel is until you get there. Nine times out of 10 the hotels are what I like to think is the absolute bare minimum the law requires accessible. Many times I find myself looking at the room and questioning how the hell anyone thought this was accessible. Not to mention a lot of the touristy things aren't really accessible. So planning a trip is a dance of trying to find what is going to be the most accessible, affordable, and fun. With my next vacation (going to Hawaii!) on the horizon and the hours I spent scouring the internet for information that I never found. I have decided to now write reviews of all the hotel rooms I stay in. Hoping this will maybe helpful to someone somewhere because just one time I want to go on vacation and not have the pit of worry in stomach about the accessibility of a hotel room.

On to the last hotel room I stayed in. It was at the La Quinta in Jacksonville Florida. First of all if you aren't aware of this, as we weren't, when you make a reservation with a hotel they have the right to only take your preferences into consideration. Meaning that needing a wheelchair accessible room is only a preference, I had no idea but noted. So when we arrived they informed us that the people staying the room the night before decided to stay another night meaning I had to stay in a room that didn't have the roll in shower I require. This was extremely frustrating and annoying but since it was only one night I just put up with it. Side note when my boyfriend was complaining to the front desk lady about how I wasn't going to be able to get into the shower now she actually said that she would come and help me get in the shower. I was completely weirded out by this, she was missing the point of what he was saying. Anyways back to the room...

Overall I would say it wasn't one the best nor the worst I have stayed in. Once in the wheelchair accessible room the shower had the hand held shower head along with a shower bench. That actually had a back on it and wasn't one of the those tiny ones that look like they can really only hold a person who weighs 50 lbs. The room was a little dingy smelling but I guess that comes with the territory. Not to mention the beds were pretty firm and I don't love firm. I like to sink into bed. My biggest complaint would be that the carpet from the lobby to all the rooms was so thick I was out of breath each time I had to wheel from the room to the car. I came to the conclusion that anyone with less function than me would have a real hard time with the carpet. All of the doorways had the real cracked cement leading up to the door making getting in the door not always a simple task. 

In all I would say that this room was moderately accessible and pretty affordable. For a para it wouldn't be too hard to manage but I don't know about a quad. Also the room was little tight so needing too much equipment or supplies would take up most of the room fast. I wouldn't be worried if I ever had to stay there again but I might try and find a different hotel next time.

Here are some photos, ignore the mess it was a last minute thought as we left at 6 am!

the bathroom for the door

Toilet wasn't too bad. Definitely a tight space.

This shower chair is one of the better ones I have had but it is so tiny I just don't get how hotels think this works for full grown adults! Or better the ones without the back, so hard to shower without the back! 

So the shower head had to be put down for me because I couldn't get it down myself.

One of the doorways.

The evil carpet!

Hope this is helpful to someone out there!

How Can a Lunch Date be so Scary?

I started this blog with the intentions of being as personal and open as possible. I believe this next blog is the most personal story I have shared yet...

So most who know me would say that I am a pretty strong individual (which I don't think I am necessarily stronger than anyone else) and not going to let anything stop me from living my life. Which is mostly true. I have built a life that works for me, a life I can really enjoy. But there are still moments that are intimidating. Like leaving my house and going somewhere alone. This is something I NEVER do. It is only when I am going somewhere that I am extremely familiar with (like starbucks). Other than that I pretty much always have someone with me because I usually fear the worst of falling out of my chair or being attacked in the parking lot or some other horrific thing I can dream up or running into someone who was apart of the accident. Not to mention the world is not a wheelchair friendly world. Not just buildings aren't always accessible but often I find people are extremely rude. Plus I get extremely panicky when I feel like I am going to be faced with a situation that may not be accessible because that just brings up all kinds of frustration and sad feelings that I try to avoid letting out in public (the general public think disabled people are crazy enough I don't need to reinforce that with a public melt down). So I feel like I always need a someone to reach that high shelf, carry my bags, or just make me feel safe.

Here is another story to let all the readers into my life a little more....

I have two girls from where I went to therapy that I have become really good friends with and we try to get lunch together at least once a month. We all live at least an hour away from each other (one even lives in another country) so we try to pick a location that is centrally located between us all. So this past Friday we decided to go to a restaurant in downtown Detroit. I know what everyone is thinking, there are some nice/safe parts of Detroit. Usually a trip like this I would bring my mom but I am 23 and sometimes I just don't want my mommy tagging along because I feel like a child when she has to come to a lunch that I should be able to do myself. Not that I don't love having my mom around there are just times I want to be independent. Friday was one of those days. I plugged the address of the restaurant in and off I went. Slightly nervous because I had never been to this restaurant before and unknown locations scare me. I never know how accessible they are but one of the other girls had been there and since she is in a chair I figured it had to be good otherwise she wouldn't have suggested it. Once I was a few minutes away from the place my other friend called and said she was having a hard time finding parking and asked if i knew where to park. Well that was a no on my part and that this made me very nervous because I can't just park anywhere and hop out of my vehicle. I need space for the ramp and no one to park next time me (which no one pays attention to leave me enough room). So after my GPS takes me on a cute tour of a bad neighborhood I get the restaurant and just like any other city there is no parking lot next to the restaurant. I begin to drive around fighting lunch time traffic and find a parking garage to park in. I wasn't too sure how close I was to the restaurant because driving distance and wheeling distance are two very different things. But I was just going to to have suck it up. I also didn't have any cash on me so I had to find some at some point too. I start driving around the garage and it was freaking packed. I didn't think that many people went to or worked downtown Detroit. As I am driving up the flights of parking garage I was thinking "I hope they have an elevator" "I hope I can find the restaurant" "I hope no one attacks me" "Sure hope I can find my van after". I could feel myself stressing out a bit. Okay I will be honest I was totally stressing out and really worried that I wouldn't be able to get out of the garage. I found a parking space next to an elevator, wheeled around in a direction I thought was right. Which it turned out to be the right way but the sidewalks sucked. But really sidewalks are hardly ever easy. Cracks and bumps, even the smallest of ones, I have to watch carefully because my front castors can get caught on them and I will eject out of my chair face first. Finally found the restaurant. We had a wonderful lunch at Texas de Brazil, which is delicious and I highly recommend it to everyone but go during lunch time it is expensive for dinner. I had to use an ATM to get money from and back to the parking garage I went. Less nervous this time but still a little bit worried that a raper would be there waiting for me (my mind can be a bit dramatic sometimes). There was no one waiting for me and I was able to leave just fine.

In all I was proud of myself for successfully navigating my way around without help. But I will say that I will still always have someone with me. I enjoy doing things by myself from time to time but it is way to nerve wrecking/scary to do it alone all the time. Plus if I am getting anything more than a lap full of items I need help carrying it.

Care Givers Can be a Punching Bag Sometimes

So many of who are catastrophically injured or diagnosed with debilitating disease know the importance of a good care giver. But we also know the beating a good care giver can take as well. This past Tuesday I went to the Crosby, Stills, and Nash concert (not knowing one of their songs and was definitely the youngest person there) I witnessed an interaction between a care giver and the "patient", for lack of a better word, that reminded me of so many instances between my mother and I after my injury. 

This lady was a bit older in a power wheelchair and it looked as if she had MS. I am not positive but I am assuming it. She had a women of about the same age with her who was clearly her care giver. I am not sure what their relationship was but it was closer than just some care giver hired from an agency. They were talking and laughing and have a good time for most of the evening when in the middle of the concert I noticed them to begin to have a small scuffle. The woman in the chair was having a problem with one of her legs (once again my assumption her foot was hurting from sitting in the same position for so long) and she was trying to adjust it but getting very frustrated from her lack of control. Being the good care giver she had the other lady jumped right in to help solve the situation but only seemed to make it worse. After some words exchanged back and forth and in a moment of shear frustration the woman in the chair shouted at her to "leave me alone". The care giver let her fight with the foot a bit and then calmly took her shoe off for her. Then that was it they were moments later back to laughing and enjoying themselves.

Now most would see this and assume the woman in the chair is just a bitch but really all of us who require some help from time to time have experienced this. I know my poor mom can attest to that. It isn't because we are mean or bitter (well in some cases). It is because the frustration of not being able to do such a simple task (whatever it may be) can become so overwhelming that it just bursts out at whoever is closest. And unfortunately 9 times out of 10 it is directed at the person who just wants to help. I can't tell you how many times my mom has been just trying to help with a transfer or put my clothes on where I end up losing my mind on her because I am so angry with needing the help in the first place. I have learned over the years how to control the snapping much better than in the beginning but I will say there are still moments of weakness. But more importantly I have learned to recognize why I am snapping and promptly apologize for my words to whoever was the victim. 

My point for all of this is to take a second to say thank you to all who are care givers. You play a very special roll in someone's life, whether they know it or not. Plus we as recipients of the care rarely take the time to say Thank you because although we love you/appreciate the help I know we would all prefer to not need the help. So it is hard to realize all the hard work the care giver is doing because we are working so hard just to live. Also to maybe help someone who is new to the care giving scene to know that sometimes your patients may be mean but it isn't you  it is the internal struggle they are fighting with. Most will eventually calm down and be nicer.... maybe/hopefully.