Life, it often happens at the most unexpected of times. Usually throwing you a big fat curve ball when things are going smooth. Almost a radical way of shaking you back in to reality, so not to forget what is truly important in life. Over 6 years ago my family got the worst phone that could have ever been made and had to rush to the hospital not knowing if I was going to live or not. And today when we got the phone call that my grandma had been in a bad car accident was being transported to the hospital, I knew what that night felt like for everyone. The fear and uncertainty consumes you as you rush to to the hospital hoping not to get the horrible news no one wants to hear but you can't help but let your mind float that way. The waiting and lack of compassion from many in the hospital doesn't make the situation much better.
Now as I sit here in the ICU watching my grandma be connected to every tube/machine imaginable, fighting to recover, I have come to the conclusion that being the patient and being the fighter is far more easy than watching a loved one fight. Most of the worst nights I cannot remember but watching the worst parts completely coherent is the most difficult pain a person can deal with. It is killing me knowing my grandma is in pain and there is not a thing I can do about it other than sit here and comfort her. I love my grandma more than anything. She has taught me so much in life that has molded who I am. And she is a fighter so I know she will make it out of this no problem but it is still hard to watch her have to fight.
Not sure what my point is here just needed to get my thoughts out before I drove myself crazy. I am guessing another side effect of being in this position...
