Is it Possible to Heal a Broken Heart..

Well here we are June again... I cannot believe that I am only a few short days away from my 7th anniversary of the accident. I know to most 7 years doesn't seem like a lot but let my tell you there were many days I laid in my hospital bed convinced I wouldn't survive one more day without my legs or my best friend. But somehow I am still living and living well (yet another thing I never expected). It has been an incredibly long journey of searching for happiness, searching to feel whole again, and searching to make it "right". While I am still searching for all of the above and it will be a life long search because I feel that is a journey every single human is on. However, I have wanted to share for a few months where I am in my journey. I didn't know how to put it to words and not sure I have figured it out yet either. But why not give it a shot....

I think that I am finally able to say that after a so long I am no longer completely heartbroken. I am not saying that I am not still sad or have my days where I am heartbroken but I no longer feel like am drowning in sorrow. I don't feel that constant pain, whether it was front in center in my mind or looming in the back waiting to take me by surprise. I think that my heart had healed months ago but I didn't notice it until about a month ago. I was driving and a song came on the radio which usually broke my heart every time I heard it and caused me to sob. Music has always had a way of bringing forth emotion (generally emotions I try to hide). But this time I didn't cry when I heard the song, it didn't make me feel like I was suffocating in pain. It took my by surprise and made me cry. Not sad tears but tears of joy because I have worked so hard to get to this point. Cried my fair share of tears and done countless hours of soul searching, it has finally paid off.

Clearly my journey isn't over, I am not a complete human or free of any pain or sadness but I think I can say that I have mostly closed that chapter of my life. Like I said I will always have my days where it feels like I am still dying from the pain but I am fairly confident in saying most days I am happy and not consumed by the injustices I endured at 17. I am hopeful that some someday I will be able to completely close the chapter after a few final issues are resolved but those require more than just me working to fix things.

So I share this to give all those out there suffering from a broken heart that is it possible to put the pieces together. It is NOT easy and incredibly painful. I didn't enjoy the process and there were many times that I would give up and drown in my suffering but each time I knew God had a better plan for me and would never leave me in the pain without a path out. Don't be afraid to do the work, don't be afraid to confront those demons because every time God will be there to hold your hand (whether it silently or obviously).Don't feel like you have to do the work alone because I did not. I had a few very good friends and two amazing counselors who helped me work through it all. I also want to point out that I do not have a perfect relationship with God I am still working on putting my faith back in him but no matter how angry I was with him he has always proved he is faithful.

For those interested here is "the song"