Thursday, December 29, 2011

2011 Recap


2011, a year that I don't have many good things to say about. It has been a year of very uncomfortable change and heart breaking challenges. And from the sounds of it on Facebook I am not the only one who has struggled this year. I know most are ready to see an end to this year and the fresh start of a new year with endless possibilities. But to close out the year I decided to instead of dwelling on the negatives of the year I would write about the top 5 best things that happened this year...

Receiving a warm and fuzzy :)
5. Talking to the HOBY kids, it may seem like a small event to most. But these kids were my first large group listening to my story and the love that radiated from them was so empowering. I wish there was a way to bottle it up or carry them all in my pocket for whenever I need a quick pick me up. Not to mention all the Facebook love they give me, even today. I love you kids, thanks for being so awesome! I hope to make another appearance next year :)



4. The Dr. Drew Show, I mean honestly how could that not make the list right? This was a huge once in a life time experience that I am so thankful for. It opened doors in a huge way and helped me to pursue a passion of mine, talking to students about my accident. Not to mention I got to go to LA for free, that is pretty awesome itself.





3. After 5 long years I am out of litigation. I am done with all lawsuits and insurance battles that were pending. No more fear of a possible trail ahead and if you have never been in an on going lawsuit be thankful. It is awful, at any moment you may have to go meet with some jerk off lawyers who want to dissect the worst day of your life and somehow make it your fault so they don't have to pay you. Or pit you against someone you love very much. Oh it is just the worst and I can finally say I never have to deal with that side of my horrible accident ever again.

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2. Mr. Fackelman coming home. Although not completely out of the woods but just knowing that he was able to spend christmas with his family this year after years of watching his family miss him each holiday season brings me so much happiness. Also being able to have dinner with him and give him a big hug outside of a prison visiting room was pure bliss.








1. Finally the best thing to happen to me this year would be my boyfriend. (cheesy I know..) And although we started dating in 2010, this year our relationship really grew and became a relationship that I have dreamed of my entire life. For the first time my love life is perfect, never thought I would be able to say that. However, the absolute best part is him moving in. It was a difficult decision for me to make being that I am more traditional and never thought I would live in sin (as some would say haha). Ultimately I went with what my heart was saying and did what felt right. We have been living together for a few months now and life couldn't be better. I have never been so happy. It is amazing how God can provide in the most perfect way.

Goodbye 2011, I will not miss you and hope that 2012 is much kinder to me. I am in need of a good year,  it is about time I get a dang break along with my friends who also had a sucky year. After all the end of the world is coming ;) haha

Friday, December 9, 2011

Don't forget A reason for the season

I know family time can feel like this sometimes  :)
Christmas such a magical beautiful time. All about Jesus, presents, cookies, Santa, the lights, trees, and FAMILY. It is a time of year that makes my heart feel so full and excited for the possibilities of making new family memories. Growing up I always looked forward to the time spent with my families and giving the most perfect gift to everyone I love. But this time of year is a time when feeling the loss of my loved ones is refreshed. I haven't experienced too much loss in my life, although the ones I have lost have been some of the hardest to lose. The most obvious is my Charlie. The pain I feel around this time of year is more for his family knowing they would give anything to have him there even for just a moment. When so many take their loved ones for granted, not knowing what true loss feels like. Another one would be my Papa. I actually lost him on December 23rd almost 7 years ago. He and I were very close and I was just getting to the age where I was learning how cherish my time with him. I know everyone loses their grandparents at some point but he was just a few months shy of his 70th birthday and it was too sudden. After losing both of these guys I have trained myself to enjoy the moments with my loved ones focusing on memories. I also never forget to let my loved ones know how much I care about them. Ask any of my friends I am constantly telling them how much I love them, they may get tired of hearing it but at least I know they will never wonder what my true feelings are. So I guess I am just reminding everyone to take a moment from the hustle and bustle of the commercialization of Christmas and remind those who you love just how much they really meant to you. Because there will be a time when you will give just about anything for one more hug or one more chance to tell them you love them. I can't tell you how many times I have begged God for just a moment to give my Papa a hug or to hear that encouragement he gave to me so well. And I know right now one of my friends is wishing he had his mom back after losing her to complications of a surgery one year ago today. So you never know when that moment of tragedy will strike and nothing will ever be the same. Thank Jesus for those you have and the moments you have with them.
Miss you all the time Papa


This post is dedicated to Aunt Risa. She was an amazing mother, as well as a kind soul.You were taken too soon but God's timing is hardly ever our timing. Hope you are enjoying heaven, know we are missing you down here.  


Saturday, December 3, 2011

Facebook Fight

I see that somehow I have sparked quite the debate with this whole handicap bathroom deal. For all the curious minds I will paint today's scenarios and my bathroom adventures.

My sister and I decided to do a little light shopping for ourselves, getting into some real christmas spirit. And while she was waiting in line at Express I decided to hit the bathroom really quick. Although it wasn't time for me to go, I figured I may as well since we were close to the easiest bathroom for me to use and I wanted to avoid a disaster of an accident. Now I should disclaimer this by saying I have NEVER experienced a line at these bathroom because they are in a small strange hallway and didn't know about them myself until a year or so ago. So I wheel around the corner and there are 3 woman standing in line for this one restroom. NOT families but single able bodied females. A larger mid 40s woman, a 13 yr old girl, and another 40 something woman. I was instantly annoyed and quickly posted my status as a joke, as I contemplated saying something. Because there is a large public restroom just around the corner with like 40 stalls. So really I had no clue on why able bodied people would want to wait 15 minutes for a restroom  when there is one just a few feet in the other direction. So as I was thinking I was looking at the bathroom and noticed that there aren't any handicap signs on the door. In that moment I decided not to say anything because there wasn't any sign saying handicap, but it is very clear to everyone that if there is a single HUGE public bathroom with bars and lowered sink/mirrors that it is a family restroom. And in our society FAMILY restrooms are for FAMILIES and HANDICAP people. So that is where my frustrations came from today, not to mention the people parking in handicap spots and then sprinting into the mall. All the stares and looks of awe that a handicapper is actually out of the home that I get as I wheel through the mall. My limit of tolerance was met and I used Facebook to blow off a little steam. Boy did that get everyone all fired up.

I will say that I love everyone who supports me and cares enough to help express my point or defend my feelings when I usually can't because I am so timid when it comes to confrontation. But this is my official response to the comments left by one of my Facebook friends who I have no idea who she is and pretty positive she is the one who left some awesome comments on my last blog about handicap restrooms (Tinkle Time). I think I understand what she was getting at about how handicap stalls are strictly for handicap people only and she only uses them when necessary. I may be giving her too much credit but I prefer to think most people are good somewhere inside and not just mean to the core (although there are people who are). I have never said the handicap stalls are strictly for people like me and I would never be angry with a mother with a stroller and children for using the handicap stall because they are also why those stalls are there. Because we REQUIRE the extra space. We don't find it a luxury or convenient but physically need all the space we can get. I don't think anyone knows how embarrassing it is to pee your pants as a grown adult or how even more embarrassing it is to pee with a stall door open because there isn't enough room to shut the door as people just walk past getting a free show. As my boyfriend pointed out tonight that if there weren't disabled people in the world there would be NO HANDICAP STALLS.

So yes they should be strictly reserved for the disabled at all times. There are loads of accommodations in society for the disabled because our lives are HARD, front row parking, ramps, elevators, open isles, lowered checkout counters, etc. And I get angry when able bodied people use these accommodations as well. Which at some point politicians finally realized that a disabled person's life is hard and made guidelines and laws to help make our lives easier. And yes I think truly handicap people should get special privileges because I can never fully express how hard this life is. All of the changes and emotional strife I experienced and continue to experience daily makes it hard to go out into society but knowing that there are accommodations to make it a little bit easier experience, is why I started to go back into the community. But I will tell you days like today made me lose a lot of confidence in the human race. Not to mention the fact that it is only fair to make the world easy for a disabled person to navigate as well, since we are people too an deserve all the same opportunities everyone else gets.

P.S. Anyone who compares having any short of simple disease or injury to being in a wheelchair or handicapped pisses me off. It is not the same as being permanently disabled. End of story.