My sister and I decided to do a little light shopping for ourselves, getting into some real christmas spirit. And while she was waiting in line at Express I decided to hit the bathroom really quick. Although it wasn't time for me to go, I figured I may as well since we were close to the easiest bathroom for me to use and I wanted to avoid a disaster of an accident. Now I should disclaimer this by saying I have NEVER experienced a line at these bathroom because they are in a small strange hallway and didn't know about them myself until a year or so ago. So I wheel around the corner and there are 3 woman standing in line for this one restroom. NOT families but single able bodied females. A larger mid 40s woman, a 13 yr old girl, and another 40 something woman. I was instantly annoyed and quickly posted my status as a joke, as I contemplated saying something. Because there is a large public restroom just around the corner with like 40 stalls. So really I had no clue on why able bodied people would want to wait 15 minutes for a restroom when there is one just a few feet in the other direction. So as I was thinking I was looking at the bathroom and noticed that there aren't any handicap signs on the door. In that moment I decided not to say anything because there wasn't any sign saying handicap, but it is very clear to everyone that if there is a single HUGE public bathroom with bars and lowered sink/mirrors that it is a family restroom. And in our society FAMILY restrooms are for FAMILIES and HANDICAP people. So that is where my frustrations came from today, not to mention the people parking in handicap spots and then sprinting into the mall. All the stares and looks of awe that a handicapper is actually out of the home that I get as I wheel through the mall. My limit of tolerance was met and I used Facebook to blow off a little steam. Boy did that get everyone all fired up.
I will say that I love everyone who supports me and cares enough to help express my point or defend my feelings when I usually can't because I am so timid when it comes to confrontation. But this is my official response to the comments left by one of my Facebook friends who I have no idea who she is and pretty positive she is the one who left some awesome comments on my last blog about handicap restrooms (Tinkle Time). I think I understand what she was getting at about how handicap stalls are strictly for handicap people only and she only uses them when necessary. I may be giving her too much credit but I prefer to think most people are good somewhere inside and not just mean to the core (although there are people who are). I have never said the handicap stalls are strictly for people like me and I would never be angry with a mother with a stroller and children for using the handicap stall because they are also why those stalls are there. Because we REQUIRE the extra space. We don't find it a luxury or convenient but physically need all the space we can get. I don't think anyone knows how embarrassing it is to pee your pants as a grown adult or how even more embarrassing it is to pee with a stall door open because there isn't enough room to shut the door as people just walk past getting a free show. As my boyfriend pointed out tonight that if there weren't disabled people in the world there would be NO HANDICAP STALLS.
So yes they should be strictly reserved for the disabled at all times. There are loads of accommodations in society for the disabled because our lives are HARD, front row parking, ramps, elevators, open isles, lowered checkout counters, etc. And I get angry when able bodied people use these accommodations as well. Which at some point politicians finally realized that a disabled person's life is hard and made guidelines and laws to help make our lives easier. And yes I think truly handicap people should get special privileges because I can never fully express how hard this life is. All of the changes and emotional strife I experienced and continue to experience daily makes it hard to go out into society but knowing that there are accommodations to make it a little bit easier experience, is why I started to go back into the community. But I will tell you days like today made me lose a lot of confidence in the human race. Not to mention the fact that it is only fair to make the world easy for a disabled person to navigate as well, since we are people too an deserve all the same opportunities everyone else gets.
P.S. Anyone who compares having any short of simple disease or injury to being in a wheelchair or handicapped pisses me off. It is not the same as being permanently disabled. End of story.
Can't say enough how strong and amazing you are! You handle situations so well and always give people the benefit of the doubt even if they are the biggest BEEPS! lol I love you and will always be one to stick up and have your back no matter what!:)NOTHING compares to your everyday life and what you are forced to deal with! Until people learn just continue doing what you do to educate the dumb people.
ReplyDeleteI have spent my entire career trying to educate and bring about compliance with the ADA. Many many places still don't even have a stall a person who uses a wheelchair for mobility could fit into. For example, 80% of bars/restaurants in college towns. They cater to the students and never give a second thought to patrons with disabilities. And don't think those places aren't making money hand over fist and can afford to remodel but simply choose not to.
ReplyDeleteI believe that people should leave the handicap stall open as much as possible. If there is an alternate stall, we should all choose that over the handicap one. I also believe that if there is a handicap person in line (especially to a more private bathroom like you described), the polite thing to do would be to let them go ahead and take it.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe that graph you posted is anywhere close to being accurate. In my personal experience, the only time I see the handicap stall being used by an able bodied person is if they are (a) a mom with kids or (b) there is a line and there are no handicap people in that line. At my place of work the woman's bathroom has two stalls: one is handicap and on isn't. When I walk in I rarely see anyone use the handicap stall, except when there is a line. (And this is something I've been more sensitive to since your accident and since my grandma has started needing to use handicap services)
I know that you probably notice all the ways the able bodied community can disregard the handicap community. And I don't know why those three women felt the need to use that bathroom when there was another bathroom down the hall with more stall (except that maybe being Christmas time there was a long line there too). It makes me mad that ever time I see someone parked in a handicap spot when they are not handicap. But the fact that our society has made an effort (even an imperfect effort) to make it easier for handicap people to lead more "normal" lives (handicap stalls, parking spots, ramps, etc.) shows that most people are not being malicious. There are plenty of societies that don't make any effort.
Hey, just found your blog. I'm not disabled, nor do I know anyone who is, but your blog is fascinating, and I respect and appreciate the level of openness you have in it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it seems to me that people just don't understand. If they know what a person with a disability like yours had to go through, just to not have an accident (so sorry if that makes it sound childish, but it's the best word I can come up with), they wouldn't have stood there. I don't have much confidence in society in general, but I find it much more likely that they were thinking "She's sitting, she can hold it longer." Not "Eh, I got here first." And if they do in fact think that, then, well, I won't necessarily be surprised. Anyway, I try to make an effort not to use the handicap stall if I don't have to, and I try to get people to do the same if I can.
Here's to hoping people get there head out of their asses!
I am so glad you write this blog to help some people understand the challenge not just you but, many people face on a "normal day". I see it takes some sifting through to get the true point across. I am thankful for your patience. Please know you are expressing the feelings of many and hopefully raising some awareness in those interested in learning:)
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