Anyways, to the good stuff. This past Friday I got to go and speak to a group of very amazing soon to be juniors in high school. They were at a 4 day long seminar called HOBY. It is a leadership group that picks the best of the best students in Northwest Ohio to attend and the whole trip is a blast. I personally never was a part of the HOBY family till last year when I crossed paths with an amazing man named Steve Arnold. I like him mostly because his name is almost my name. He agreed to give me a chance and give my presentation at the 2011 HOBY weekend. I was thrilled at the chance and even more thrilled after by the kids reactions. I literally answered questions or over 40 mins and had countless kids come up after giving hugs, words of encouragement, and just expressing their appreciation of me sharing my story. This was a huge push of confidence that I needed because I am never really sure how moving my story is. I mean I am moved by it but this whole ordeal happened to me. After last year I was chomping at the bit to get back to HOBY this year anticipating the same reaction.
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| 2011 HOBY |
Boy, oh boy was I right, once again the kids loved it. I was a little more nervous than usual because most of the leaders had told the other kids that I was awesome so I had quite the reputation to live up to. Plus I had made a quick power point of pictures to help facilitate my presentation. It went smoothly, the kids asked tons of questions(my favorite part of the presentations) and all expressed the appreciation. Not to mention the interest of having me come to their schools, which is the best compliment I could ever get. Had some dinner with the kids, was able to chat with a few who sat with me. All in all it was a really nice time. Completely encouraging to see young people who have so much potential in life and are actually choosing to be productive members of society.
Now even though I had amazing time, I still somehow managed to have a paralyzed moment. I hate these moments. They seem to come when I am on top of the world just to bring reality of life crashing down on me. As we were leaving I noticed that I was having a really bad foot spasm. This only means one thing, potty time. And by the way my foot was freaking out it was an immediate potty time. I rushed to the nearest handicap bathroom ( not always the first bathroom) transferred to the toilet. No sooner did I get on the toilet I heard little tinkle noises. DAMN IT! I peed my pants. Now this is a "normalish" thing for a paralyzed person. We can't feel when it is time and even though we are on a schedule nature has other plans occasionally. So now I am in this public bathroom urine soaked pants an hour and a half away from home. Thank the Lord my mom always travels with me for moments such as these. She went to grab the back up pants kept in the van so that I didn't soak pee all over my chair and so we don't have to smell pee the whole way home. Mom hurried back and of course since I got the new van I forgot to put the back up clothes bag back. Luckily I had some giant goodwill looking sweats in the front on their way to be donated and thats what I got to wear home. Cleaned myself up and headed home.
I am not completely sure why I felt like I needed to write this post but I am guessing it is because when I started the blog I wanted my true and real life to be exposed for people to learn and grow from. I have always been very open with my wheelchair mishaps. Feels better to be honest about it than pretend it doesn't happen. The peeing my pants doesn't ruin my days like it did before and I can usually take it in stride. It most definitely didn't ruin my excitement about the day, just a reminder of what my life is and will be most likely forever. I don't want a pitty party or anyone to feel bad for me. Just realize that it isn't just not being able to walk there is so much more that goes into life in a chair. And if you are in a chair don't be embarrassed by those moments they happen, you didn't do it on purpose. As one of my favorite quotes go "Those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter." It is scary how true that statement is.
Glad you posted something like that because those people who are not paralyzed really don't have a clue what we have to through sometimes just to take a pee. Like you said, at that point Mother Nature is in control. It's not like you can just stand or sit there and do the pee dance. You have to rely on some other signal from your body that your bladder is full. For you, it's a leg spasm. For me it is a tingling in the head. If I wait too long, AD starts to kick in and then that's where I get a severe headache and some times pee my pants as well. Thanks again for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt was great having you at HOBY!!! I look forward to your visit next year! Keep up your positive attitude it is very inspiring.
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