I am not an ALIEN!

As a child I was told over and over that it is not polite to stare. Which I assumed everyone was informed of this very important social rule, but since being in this chair I see that I was very wrong. The way that people gawk at me when I enter a room is horrible. Time and time again I go somewhere were an adult is watching me as if I am a gypsy about to steal their wallet or a space alien with a new form of travel. Now I get it, it is not everyday that most people see a young person in a wheelchair. Let alone a small nice wheelchair like mine, so most times I don't mind if a person looks at me discreetly.

So after a recent encounter in the small town of Rudolph, Oh., where they are horrible offenders of watching me as if I am a mutant from the future who is going to force them to brush their teeth. I started thinking about an acceptable way to look at someone because we are all guilty of it. I know I do it too, I even do it to people in wheelchairs too.  But I think there is an acceptable way to look when you see someone who is interesting and a way that is just plain rude.

Now this is purely my opinion and it may not apply to every person in a chair because there are varying levels of sensitivities. For me I don't mind if when I come rolling into a room you look at me, but DO NOT crank your neck to continue watching me wheel farther away from you. A quick look of acknowledgment is totally fine with me. Because an offense that is almost as annoying as the staring is the pretending as if I don't even exist even though it is completely obvious that you have noticed me and want to look.

If I catch you staring at me please don't feel obligated to say something to me. I can't tell you how many times I catch people staring and they shout out a compliment. Like while I was on vacation and I was wheeling down the street and I looked up and this guy staring and he yells "I like your shirt" I mean yes it was a sweet shirt but that is not what he was staring at.

 If you have a question just ask, because my philosophy is I would rather people ask and find out the truth rather than just assume. Granted most people in chairs aren't as open but if you just ask if it is okay to ask them a question that should make it more polite and they may be more open to answering your question.

Okay parents it is your turn, kids are curious beings. Everyone knows this, including disabled people. So when your child is staring or yells out "what's wrong with her?!" Don't scold them (well in the case of staring please inform them that it isn't  polite and if they have a question to ask it). First correct them that there isn't anything "wrong with her" and explain why the person is using a chair and if you don't know suggest asking the person. Yelling at them or dramatically pulling them away is embarrassing for all involved. Plus it is discouraging your child from asking questions and learning. Which we all know knowledge is power. And being open with our children maybe it will help eliminate the shock of seeing a person in a chair because they already know what the wheelchair means. I dream of a day where I don't have to deal with idiots staring at me and making me feel stupid and if we are open with our children maybe future generations won't have to deal with the staring.

Understand that this doesn't apply for everyone, so try to gage the situation and whether the question you have is in an appropriate setting. Because asking me how I go to the bathroom or if I can feel sex is not an appropriate question while I am in the grocery store and you will not like the response I can promise this. Just keep in mind staring is not okay and the reason people in chairs have a bad rap for being cranky is because we are so tired of having people's eyes glued to us everywhere we go and eventually snap.